Dear Lisa - It’s ok to sleep

Dear Lisa,

You’re tired. So very, very tired. You’ve spent the last few days sleeping, it’s so hard to stay awake and function. Your body is constantly in a fight or flight scenario and so desperately wants to heal. It’s mid-Spring, the rain should be coming to an end and the temperatures should be mostly stable by now. Alas, that is not the case. The rain has been non-stop, off and on in bursts, and instead of warmer Spring temperatures, it’s now cold. Your body, and especially the Trigeminal Neuralgia in your face, don’t know how to handle this constant fluctuation.

Last week was hard. Your pain increased and you thought that everything you’ve been doing to try to get better was no longer working. You recently had a few decent weeks and a few good days. It’s so easy to forget that you have to take it easy. You tend to push yourself and forget that the simplest of tasks have a chain reaction to your health.

Your pain and symptoms have been increasing…again. You are easily agitated, exhausted, can’t sit still, and talking less and less. You have so much in our head that you want to say, you want to contribute to the conversations happening around you. You want to answer the phone when your friends call to check on you. You want to be able to go out and sit outside but the breeze and wind keep you inside. The house is becoming more cluttered. The laundry isn’t washed or put away, but you pride yourself on the few loads you were able to do and the three laundry baskets that are actually folded.

You are laying in bed or on the couch, hating the pain in your face for taking life away from you yet again. You’re staring at the parts of the kitchen you can see and wish you could get up and clean just a little. Sometimes you feel useless, that you aren’t contributing like you should be. You soon fall asleep again and wake up not feeling rested, the pain isn’t less, and the mess around you is still there.

Your husband is right, your job right now is to rest. If you won’t listen to your body and rest, listen to Chris. You like to ignore how you feel and push yourself.

Your job is to rest. Your body is going through some horrible things and your system is overloaded. It’s ok to sleep. It’s ok to take it easy. It’s ok the laundry isn’t done, the dishes need done, and there are piles forming on the kitchen island and table. Those things don’t matter. What matters is you. You are needed, which means you need to rest.

Soon the weather should stabilize. You will get some energy back. The pain will lessen, even if it is just a little. Right now, it’s ok to sleep, it’s what you need. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you can’t do it all. When you push too hard you also fall hard, for just once, learn from your past experiences and simply rest.

Remember that just a few short months ago you didn’t sleep more than an hour or two a day for 6 weeks. Remember that you’ve spent the last 7 years in broken, painful sleep. Remember you used to wake up screaming from the pain. You are getting better. The progress is slow, but it’s there.

Rest. Sleep. Take care of you.

Love Always,

Lisa